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My Beloved

Listening to the whispers of God's promise

The Promises of Today

img_0415Planning is my thing. I have a whole future ahead of me, and I have everything picked out perfectly. I’ve planned out  what my children are going to look like and how they are going to dress. I know what my house is going to look like, what parties I’m going to host, what my wedding is going to look like, what ring I’m going to wear on my finger, and the list goes on and on and on and on…

For my whole life, I’ve planned my whole life. I knew what I wanted to do, and I was so incredibly fearful of change. I hated anything that was going to alter my plans, because for the longest time, I thought I knew what was best for me. I hated starting a new job or starting a new semester where I had to get used to different people and professors. I wanted everything to work out the way I wanted them to, and I resisted every single pull on my heart to do anything that was different.

See, the thing is, I was so focused on the future, and the someday, that I forgot about today. I was so immersed in what my life will look like once I get married, start my dream job and have a family that I forgot about the beauties of today. I forgot to look around and truly see the people I’m walking through life withI kept telling God that after I got married or after I graduate college or once I get a full time job, all distractions will settle and that’s when I would pursue Him with my whole heart. I was waiting for someday. I was waiting for a future that He holds in His hands. And all He wanted me to do was say okay to today. He wanted and continuously wants me to say yes to Him today and everyday.

The truth is, God knows what is going to happen to me in the future. He knows exactly what my children are going to look like. He knows how beautiful my house is going to be and how much I’m going to love my husband. But, best of all, he knows what my struggles are going to be. He knows what my darkest points of my life are going to look like. He knows what my heart is going to look like and He promises to hold my hand through it all. The thing about God is that He is the greatest story teller of all time, and He has our stories wrapped up in His hands. No matter how messy our stories will get or how many times we will mess up, He will be there. For it says that, “It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority. (Acts 1:7)” There is no way for us to understand what will become of us in the future. It is not our authority to know what our future holds. So, why try?

For us, the future is set by a glorious God who knows us through and through. Everything is going to turn out okay, and our God will guide us through it all. So, if the future is set, the only thing that remains is today.

Today is the day, friends. It’s the day to set out and love people. To resemble a Jesus kind of love that no one has ever seen before. It’s the day to relish in the promises of God’s glory. The promises of rest for a weary soul that is tired and beaten, because God renews. He renews tomorrow and He renews the next day, but best of all, He renews today. He promises us His peace and His strength and His mercy. And that’s not a promise of the future, it’s a promise of today. He’s already given it to us. The only thing left to do is to put it on. Put on His peace and His mercy today. I promise you, He’s worth saying yes to.

Unmasked

For the longest time, I thought perfection was the key to happiness. I thought in order to be happy, I had to mask those fleshly feelings of jealousy and anger and insecurity and hurt. And in that, I hid. I hid and ran from a lonely soul that longed to be felt. A soul that longed to just break down in front of a merciful God and simply feel. Instead, I pretended to be okay. I smiled and laughed and said yes to every expectation of me because I wanted to be perfect, and I was willing to hide any sense of reality in order to reach that perfection.

It was only in those loneliest, darkest parts of my soul that God whispered, “Come to Me, my child. Rest with Me in my lap. You are enough and perfection is not your identity.”

There is so much peace in knowing that God does not expect perfection. His only desire is for us to enter into His presence with full and absolute abandonment. An abandonment of fear and insecurity and doubt. He wants honesty. Absolute and brutal honesty that leads to us laying on our faces at His feet screaming out I CAN’T DO IT. Those are the moments that God reaches out, wipes our tears away and promises that we can do it through the strength He provides. That’s when the healing begins. That’s when God peels back the layers that we worked so hard to build up. The perfect daughter. The valedictorian. The perfect student. The perfect friend. All of that is torn off of our hearts, and in its place is a naked soul ready to be encompassed by the love that our Healer so graciously provides. This love covers all, and let me tell you, it brings so much freedom.

This idea of hiding our hearts from an all-knowing God is not a new one. Let’s take it back to the beginning of mankind. After Adam and Eve ate the apple, they realized that they were naked and tried to cover themselves with fig leaves. When God called for them, they hid. Evidently, God knew where they were, but He wanted them to come and reveal themselves to Him. To come to Him without having to hide behind fig leaves. He wanted them to come in their full nakedness. How many times does God have to call for us to answer without hiding behind fig leaves? He wants a naked soul— free from perfection and insecurity. He wants us to trust in His strength and His guidance. He wants us to just come in complete and utter brokenness. A brokenness that cannot be repaired by worldly bandages. It’s a brokenness that is only healed by a merciful hand that calls us to His side.

God whispers, “Come home. I’m ready for you. I’ve always been ready for you.” Put down the fig leaves and stop hiding. Bare your souls and get ready for a love that covers all. He calls you His beloved and wants to embrace you in your brokenness. Just come.

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